Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Wedding Wednesday: Bridesmaid Edition

I'm allowed to write a Wedding Wednesday post even if I'm not married, right? Okay, good. Obviously this post isn't about my own wedding, since I have never been married nor am I engaged. But, as you may have read, I was chosen to be Maid of Honor for my old college roommate and best friend this past weekend.

So for this edition of Wedding Wednesday, I'm going to give you some tips on how to be the worst bridesmaid possible. Disclaimer: I am leaving names out to protect the innocent. Not all of these examples/situations are from this wedding.

Step 1: Tell (do not ask or gently remind) the bride that you do not look good in a certain color or strapless gowns. Because really, its so important that YOU look the best on the wedding day.

Step 2: Don't attend any bridal showers, luncheons, parties, etc. without a solid reason. (Unfortunately, I missed out on a lot of pre-wedding festivities because of my work schedule). Tell the bride that you are just too busy, or "could you just do it another weekend instead?"

Step 3: Ask the hairstylist (who also happens to be the brides Grandmother) if she could do your hair because you "just don't know what to do with it" then proceed to straighten out every curl because it wasn't "what you were used to."

Step 3: Wait until two weeks before the wedding to tell the bride that your bridesmaid dress doesn't fit and you don't have time to order another. Its not like she really wanted you to be  a special part of her day or anything.

Step 4: Talk about the bride to another bridesmaid. Surely she will never tell the bride.
Step 4.2: Tell another bridesmaid that really, you deserve to be MOH more than the actual MOH. I mean, what was the bride thinking... choosing her best friend?

Step 5: Tell the bride you are unable to go to her bachelorette party (that's been planned for months) because of a hair appointment. Sorry I just really need to get my roots done.

Step 6: Complain all day about how bored you are or how much you need a drink. Give audible sighs every time the photographer suggests a new pose. State frequently how ready you are to "get the hell out of this dress and into something that actually looks good." 
Step 7: Be no where to be found. Leave it to all of the other bridesmaids to help the bride get ready, direct guests to the bathroom, or keep the groomsmen from getting to restless. I mean there are six other girls, they couldn't possibly find anything for you to do, right?

And there you have it gals, your Bridesmaid edition of Wedding Wednesday.

Brides: did you ever have a not-so-great bridesmaid?
Bridesmaids: do you had any bridezilla or bridesmaidzilla stories?
Happy Hump Day!
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Kristyn said...

Bhahaha!! This is awesome. I hope none of my maids feel this way...goodness! And yes, it's totally cool to have a Wedding Wednesday post even if you aren't engaged. No judging here! I was the same way!

Jenni@FlyingOnARainbow said...

Oh I could add SO much to this! Funnily enough I have been planning to do a post sometime on things not to do as a bridesmaid, so reading this has really made me chuckle!

Cotton and Boots said...

I'm in the middle of planning my own wedding and I've been a part of many others.

I've never witnessed these kind of BM's, but it's horrifying to think they are actually out there! If they're like that as BM's, how are they as friends?!

And PS: I'm so glad you posted this on a Wedding Wednesday, it's definitely appropriate!

Leslie said...

I was in a wedding in April and one of the bridesmaids (and the bride's cousin) disappeared when we were out the first night and reappeared around noon the next day. She then didn't come out to the beach/shopping that day and left again that night when we went out again... And the bride was so concerned with that, it put a damper on her celebrations!

Ginny @ Buttergirl Diaries said...

Hey girl! Oh my God, this was good! Too good! :)

Loved every minute of it. I've been a bridesmaid once! it was for my brothers wedding and it was great! I've never had drama in this arena!

However with that being said, I am getting married in 11 months. I have 4 BM's...because, you know, I like to keep it drama free. Not to mention, there are only a few ladies who will ACTUALLY be by your side in times of crisis...these girls are family (not blood family) but if they are my BM's then I consider them family:)

I love #1. It's true. I am giving my ladies the option to choose lots of thigns. Color, style, and hair. I'm an easy breezy BM.

I think BM's have become too high maintenance.

Who's day is it again!

LOVE THIS GIRL! Check out my wedding post today. It's about how cell phones, facebook, and weddings don't mix and can ruin your day! :)


Betsy Transatlantically said...

holy crap. TELL me those are not real stories! awful. I'm so glad I only have my sister as my MOH and my fiancé's sister as my bridesmaid... no room for dramz!

Kristine -Heart Shaped Sweat said...

haha! these are clear pointers for any wedding party!!! It almost seems like someone may have been guilty of these?!? I love the colors and dresses you all wore, you're all so pretty!

Mary said...

hahahaha I LOVE this! Thank you for linking up! Gosh I hope my bridesmaids don't do any of this!