Friday, July 12, 2013

A letter to the people who annoy me at they gym

Everyone knows there are certain "types" of people at the gym: the really huge muscular guy, the Barbie on the elliptical, the smelly guy, etc, etc. But there are others... and I think it's about time I address some things with them.

#sweatyselfie that doesn't have anything to do with this post besides that it was taken at the gym

Dear Guy Who Wipes Everything off 100 Times
(and also uses one machine for over 30 minutes!),
Seriously dude, you're not gonna catch a deadly disease from that bench. Or that dumbbell. Or the pulley machine. Or the floor. Or the bar bell. (no I'm not exaggerating). There really is no need to wipe everything off with sanitizer and then put towels down on everything you touch. I mean, I completely understand if there is actual wet sweat that someone (or yourself) left on the bench. I'd wipe that mess off too. But it really annoys me when you take 5+ minutes to sanitize whatever equipment you're using and then take an additional 15-20 minutes to work out on that equipment (especially if it's the only kind of that particular machine!). Have a little consideration for the people around you. Also, stop wearing tall socks with shorts. You aren't doing dead lifts.

Dear lady who wears a ton of makeup,
You do know you're not on your way out to the club right? And that 90% of your make up will be sweated off by the time you leave. And if you're planning on taking a shower (we hope) before you go or do anything else during the day, your make up is just going to wash off anyway. I know you're married, I've seen your wedding ring, your kids and your minivan, so I know you aren't trying to impress anyone. I just don't get it? I know we all want to look good (duh that's why we're at the gym) but wearing that much makeup will just get you talked about. Trust me.

Dear Tan One and Tall One,
I see you with all of your muscles, and your tan. Its gross. You're well over 60 years old and your skin is roughly the color of leather cowhide and probably the same texture as well. I know it's not natural. Hasn't anyone warned you about the dangers of tanning beds and how they, I don't know, LEAD TO CANCER. Your fake bake isn't making you look any younger, and believe me, any attention you get isn't the good kind. Also, I see you + Tall One talking about your friend (we'll call him chubby one) behind his back while he's participating in spin class. I didn't have much respect for you before, but now all of it is out the window. I'll bet you a million bucks that neither of you would last five minutes doing RPM.

Yours Truly,
The sweaty one

I know you are all impressed by my boob sweat.
I am super pumped about backing my azz up today because I actually get to have a "real" weekend aka I don't have to work sat/sun and it might be that way from now on because there are some exciting things going on at work right now (more on that next week).
Shake That Laffy Taffy by D4L on Grooveshark

I've also got some exciting things planned for this lil' ole blog this weekend! So stay tuned Monday!

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Tami said...

BAHAHA about the tan one/tall one/fat one. What a trio. I hate sanitizer guy too!

Kayla0687 said...

What about the guy who acts like he is working out. It can be a girl too. They walk around with their cell phone and get a on a machine for maybe 5 mins. Love it!

Alex[andra] said...

It bugs me so much when I see girls wearing a TON of makeup while at the gym.

There's one girl at my gym who wears a ton of makeup, the tightest clothes and only goes on the treadmill. She puts the treadmill on a slope and hugs the machine the entire time (while walking up said slope). I'm not sure I've ever seen her break a sweat..

Chloe said...

I don't get people that wear a full face to the gym. I look like shit and know it! Nice song choice!

Hanna Lee said...

Same here, don't understand why u would put a full face of makeup on for the gym? Unless u're really not going to work out as much because of the sweat dripping on ur face, then what's the point? Funny & true post!!

brooke lyn said...

but for reals, the tan tall ones are the worst. i have done an entire circuit 10 times, before they are done with one bench press set. there is a guy at my gym that wears the tiny muscle up tanks too with the tiny straps. ugh. the worst. also, your boob sweat is spot on.

Jackie said...

The gym is a hotbed of people who amaze me.

Amanda C said...

My favourite are the guys that are there to just check out the women. They tend to hang out near the cardio machines, usually on the machine that's in the back row for optimal viewing.

Jay T said...

My personal favorite gym types to loathe are the ones who go over to the free weights and insist on doing 5 reps and then throwing the weights on the ground and grunting. K dude, I get that you just lifted a 70 pound weight with one arm but you need to stop.

PS that boob sweat isn't messing around!

Dani said...

BAhaha this is great. I don't get why people wear makeup to the gym.

The Peanut Program said...

hilarious!! on my old blog i had a couple posts dedicated to these type people at the gym! so annoying. :)

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