Thursday, July 18, 2013

The never-ending debate

Ladies, there is something we need to discuss. Sorry gents (if any of you awesome readers are of the male gender) this post isn't for you. As a woman, there are many, many debates among our gender:
 
Pink vs. Red lipstick
(red)
Straight vs. curly hair
(curly/natural)
Wedges vs. pumps
(wedges)
Kotex vs. Playtex
(I don't even care)

But today I'm here to talk about this: sitting vs. squatting.
Yes. I'm gonna get a little personal here and talk about how we do our biz-nass in the bathroom. I'm going to go ahead and get it out of the way and say it, I am a sitter (*gasp*) and here are some of my reasonings:
 
1. 90% of public bathrooms are cleaned daily, if not more. I know for a fact that the bathrooms (for employees) where I work are cleaned twice a day. With strong chemicals (I know, I can smell them pretty much from my office).
2. The skin on the back of your booty and thighs does not carry STIs/infections/or any other kinds of crazy diseases you squatters think you're going to catch.
3. Most people don't pee very neatly from this position... which leads to spray on the seat. Which is the whole dang reason people don't want to sit on it anyway! (Seriously if everyone just sat down we wouldn't have this issue)
4. Trying to pee while squatting/hovering can lead to infection. No I'm not making that up, you can Google it, or you can just trust me since I'm a medical professional and all that. Since you're straining your muscles in your legs/pelvic area, you obviously aren't relaxed down there. Which leads to urine retention (that means some tee tee stays in your bladder). That's where infection can set in (think of a stagnant water puddle) (ew).
5. Its freaking uncomfortable to hover over a toilet for an extended period of time.
 
Now don't get me wrong, there are certain circumstances where my fanny isn't getting anywhere near that toilet seat, like port-a potties or out door gas station bathrooms. Gag me. If that is the case, then I will resort to hovering if I just can't hold it any longer. I have also resorted to squatting outside to avoid those kind of gross bathrooms.

Places where I usually don't squat: a friend's house, at work, at target, my parents' house, a restaurant.
I found these hilarious signs while doing some "research" for this post:

 
So are you a sitter or a squatter? 
 
 photo signurature_zpsfdb16b28.png

14 comments:

Tami said...

HAHAHAHAHA. Yes to everything about this post! I totally sit at work. Most of the girls I work with are my girlfriends anyway so I would hope it's safe!

Morgan said...

I love you so much for this! As you know from our many conversations about this, I'm a sitter too. "If everyone just sat down, we wouldn't have this problem!" Amen sista!

Meredith said...

haha this is soo funny, I usually just make a judgement call at each public place. but i giggled when you said tee-tee my grandmother used to call it that :)

Jackie said...

haha this is awesome. It is a game time decision for me. But I am usually not a squatter unless it is an absolute necessity.

Autumn @ The Unreal Life said...

This is an actual debate?!?!

Steph G said...

That last sign is the best.

Lisa @ Two Martinis said...

Ohmygoodness... those signs! I'm dying. At least in the States we have toilets to sit on, traveling abroad gets a little rough in some countries!

Rachel said...

Those signs are hilarious! And I'm definitely a sitter--all of your reasoning makes sense to me.

The Peanut Program said...

this is so funny! i trust your opinion since you are a professional! the sign is so so funny..."please remain seated for the entire performance" bahahahaha -lauren. p.s. i found you through sami's shenanigans!

Jordan @ All The Small Things said...

I have ridiculously short little pygmy legs, so squatting isn't even an option for me. Like any kind of squat I might try to do always ends in me sitting anyway. BUT I tend to get freaked out about germs and stuff anyway, so I cover the entire seat with toilet paper before I sit down. It just makes me feel better about life. And I also don't pee on the seat. So that's a plus.

Brittany said...

Haha the signs are too funny!! I always sit but put toilet paper down beforehand.

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