Thursday, October 31, 2013

Blogging vs. High School

I've compared blogging to high school before, but I've been thinking a lot more about it recently and can't help to make the comparison again. I just feel they are too similar. Similar to the Mean Girls layout of the lunchroom, you have your fashion bloggers, your lifestyle bloggers, humor bloggers, mommy bloggers, and fitness bloggers (I'm sure there are more but you get the point). There's the "big" bloggers and the "small" bloggers. The popular bloggers.


When I started blogging, it took me several months to really know what was going on. A month or two before I knew what a link up was, another few tries before I actually linked up correctly. Another month or two before I figured out I was a "no-reply blogger" and fixed it. I was a slow grower. Eventually, I gained a following. I still had a select few blogs that I read fiercely every day, "bigger" bloggers whom I admired and aspired to befriend. I saw that these bloggers all interacted with each other, tweeting, gchatting, texting even, and I wanted to do that too.

I wanted to gain friendship from blogging, I wanted to be their friend. I have realized that this will never happen. Not because they are mean (I still love and read their blogs, and we interact occasionally) but because I realized I am not that person. I have never been one to "fit in" or be "popular." My friends in high school and even college were different. I read Harry Potter, I made good grades, I played all the sports, I was active in school theatre. I did not win homecoming queen, prom queen, or most likely to be anything. I am okay with that.


Only recently did the realization hit me that blogging is just like high school. Even though I'm not disliked or "unpopular" I am not among the cool crowd. Only recently have I connected with other bloggers on a more personal level because I allowed myself to remember who I am, and who I am not. I have gained real friendships with bloggers that are like myself, a little quirky, sometimes awkward, and definitely awesome. Only recently have I realized, it's okay to not be part of the "popular crowd" because in reality, not everyone is popular. But that doesn't mean I am not liked.

Do you feel, as bloggers, we sometimes get caught up in everything and forget who we really are?

22 comments:

Miranda said...

This is great. I agree with you in so many ways. I also wanted to be "in" with the blogging crowd, and I used to get a little envious when I would see such good friendships growing. It took me a while to realize that people weren't going to just flock to me and want to get to know me, but I would have to put myself out there. Over the past few months, I have had a great time meeting people and getting to know them on a personal level. I was kind of an "in between" person in high school. I wasn't popular, I wasn't unpopular. I definitely feel like that could apply to blogging as well! I guess it's all about learning that there will always be people who accept you for who you are, just like there will be those that you don't click with as well.

Loved this!

Ashten @ alwaysashten said...

The fact that you read HP makes us friends. Besties even. I totally get what you're saying: essentially, blogging is like our own reality show and we want people to "watch". Bigger bloggers already have their "audience" that tune in daily. We all want to be that. Or want that in some way. But, really at the end of the day, those bloggers, like those high school girls, deal with the same shit we deal with. Their lives aren't always perfect and they don't have all the answers.

I digress. You rock. I'm glad I found you and we're becoming friends.

Margaret said...

I love this post. It's so true and I've so often thought about blogging that way. And like you- recently I've realized it makes more sense to focus on those that I have more in common with even if they aren't the big bloggers. That is where the real friendships can happen.

Plus being quirky, awkward and super awesome is obviously the best place to be!

Kay said...

Popular or not, I happen to really, really like your blog! Blogging is so, so much like high school and sometimes it gets rather annoying, but I've grown a lot since then and I've learned a lot about people since then. All of that makes it easier to remember that being popular isn't everything!

The Peanut Program said...

YES! I agree 100%. I have tried to connect with those "bigger" bloggers but it just isn't happening.

When I step back out of the blogging world, I realize that I was never the "bigger" "popular" type person and I never will be.

I'd much rather have a few great friends than hundreds who probably don't genuinely care about me (or my blog content).

:)

the florkens said...

Very well said. I was never "that girl" in high school and I doubt that I will ever be "that girl" in blogland.

However, when I look back on it -- high school was exactly what I needed at the time.I wasn't very appreciative but going through what I did pushed me to go into the world and to do something with me life. I think I've made a pretty decent start on that path...

The same can be said for blogging. Each day, blogging makes me strive to do better...write better, and, even live a better, perhaps more adventurous life in order to have things to blog about.

And just like high school, I know that if I look around, I do have friends here. Friends that I truly care about and want to know how their days played out and how life is treating them... And in return, I've found many that I believe feel the same way towards me.

Blogging, like high school, is a funny, funny world. But, I still find a way to enjoy myself.

-Kate
www.theflorkens.com

Tracie Everyday said...

I love this post! As a newer blogger, I have noticed the same thing and always wondered, "hmmm... what would make me that cool?" Then I had the moment, of if I'm syaing what I want and being me, than I am that cool, just in my own way!

Codi @ The Art of Balance said...

I love this post! Love love! I can relate to this SO MUCH. thank you for writing the words I had been thinking. this is just the reminder I needed to be happy being me!

Sara Elizabeth said...

You hit this one out of the park, Kalyn! I definitely think that a big part of blogging is "keeping up appearances" to stay within a certain image. It's ridiculous and no one can keep up that act for very long. I love that you're staying true to yourself & it's why I like you & your blog so much.

Alex[andra] said...

I couldn't agree with you more. Particularly with some of the bigger bloggers. I had actually connected with a blogger when her and I first started out (which was around the same time). Her blogged soared though in "popularity" as she hosted giveaways and sponsored all the "big" bloggers; something I couldn't afford to do. The bigger she got, the more she ignored me. Until, eventually, she just stopped commenting on my blog and replying to any of my comments on hers.

To say I wasn't hurt would be a lie. Of course it hurt me. But that's just it, it's like high school. When someone because popular and it's "uncool" for them to hang out with the unpopular kids.

But, you just have to blog for yourself and no one else. :)

Kelly Louise said...

i love your blog, you're one of my "daily reads".

much like the "mean girls" rules made by the popular crowd, there's also blogging "rules" (that seem to be made by bigger bloggers). like posting 5 times a week so that you're readers stay. no. i will post when i have something to say, even if that's only 2 days a week. if my readers genuinely like my blog, they will stay for 2 posts a week.

Cece said...

I agree. The "big blogs" have their friends and they really only seem to want to be friends with other big bloggers. They constantly have people trying to get "in" with them and probably don't want to be bothered. Unless you are a bigger blog. The blog world is huge though. There is room for everybody and plenty of other bloggers that will want to connect.

brooke lyn said...

the good thing is the blogging world is so big there is a niche for everyone! so we don't have to be a part of the cool kids crowd and it's still ok

Jessa @ Life of A Sports Wife said...

I Love this post so much! I completely agree with you. blogging is like high school and we all have our place.

Duh! Danae said...

agreed. I feel like an uncool kid in HS all the time with blogging but lately I'm just like hey that's okay.

Whitney Ellen said...

Your honesty is amazing and I love how raw this post is. Also, ever since I saw your pretty face pop up in the land of blog, I've been a fan! Don't sell yourself short, my friend. <3

Breanna said...

I like reading the quirky and awkward people's blogs. It makes life interesting :)

scrapperjen said...

I love reading blogs. I have learned to be "me" on my blog and if people don't read or like it - that's fine. I want to be true to me. I don't need hundreds of followers and readers, I blog primarily for me anyway.
Please keep blogging - I enjoy yours.
Have a great weekend!

Aimee said...

I found your blog through the Harry Potter link up on another blog (probably the most fun link up I've ever seen, btw!) and then I saw this post. Just, YES! You said so much that I've thought in the past 5 or so months as a blogger. I've made some really amazing friends through blogging and I'm so grateful for them but yes, I can totally see how you can forget who you are now and then. I just went through a couple weeks where I seriously thought about quitting. But one of my bloggy friends helped me decide to stick around. :) Thanks for this post!

Nina Williamson said...

I understand completely! I'm still in the gaining a following/getting an understanding of this whole blogging layout. But I love blogging because I love writing for my own joy and reading other people's fun lives. If I have 20 followers, that's okay. If I have 4000 followers, that's okay too. . .but I'd probably feel more pressure to write better so that would be scary.

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

Blogging can be a lot like High School. I think being quirky and awkward is awesome. I can relate to it more than someone who always looks and acts perfect! Just be you girl!

Renee said...

And here I am, late again.
Love this post!
The first month I started blogging, I think I was getting around 8 page views a day and it took me over a month to get one follower. At that time, I was just blogging and I honestly didn't realize anything about the blog community that was out there. Now since I'm trying to interact with others, though, the feelings that you shared are now feelings that I have too!