Do you ever start off doing something, knowing it's just going to be the cat's meow? You're going to be awesome at it... you'll write about it on your blog and you'll post it on instagram and everyone will complement you and tell you how awesome you are. I know it's happened to me before, and on more than one occasion. Without getting too specific I did something recently and I thought it was going to be great. In my head it was this perfect thing that everyone was going to love. In reality it wasn't.
Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes and can really be over anything. I've been disappointed in myself as a student, as a daughter, as a girlfriend, as a nurse, blogger, friend... you name it and I have failed at it.
I know... our failures are things to learn from and are ways to shape us into better people and everything happens for a reason blah blah blah. I understand that, I really do.
But it's the unexpected disappointments that hurt the worst. When I failed out of college, it was expected. I had family things going on, I turned 21 that semester, my mind was not focused on school. It didn't come as a surprise but the disappointment still stung. And this stings worse.
I hate to be Debbie Downer today, but it's just one of those days. One of those days where it's hard to see the bright side. Hard to think that, this too shall pass. It's hard to remember that even though I have failed in the past, I have gotten back up. I've taken things in stride and just kept moving forward. But today I just want to wallow in my disappointment a little and ask why? Why is it that some people seem so successful? Why is it that I am so hard on myself? And finally... why am I constantly comparing myself to others?
I've heard that "comparison is the thief of joy" and I believe it 100%. Every time I see someone else's successes, I instantaneously get jealous, I think, why can't that be me? Why aren't my ideas good enough? Please don't get the wrong idea and think I want to BE these people I'm comparing myself to. I don't, I want to be myself, 100% original. But I also want "myself" to be successful. Is that too much to ask for?