Thursday, December 5, 2013

The one where I was dissapointed

Do you ever start off doing something, knowing it's just going to be the cat's meow? You're going to be awesome at it... you'll write about it on your blog and you'll post it on instagram and everyone will complement you and tell you how awesome you are. I know it's happened to me before, and on more than one occasion. Without getting too specific I did something recently and I thought it was going to be great. In my head it was this perfect thing that everyone was going to love. In reality it wasn't.

Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes and can really be over anything. I've been disappointed in myself as a student, as a daughter, as a girlfriend, as a nurse, blogger, friend... you name it and I have failed at it.

I know... our failures are things to learn from and are ways to shape us into better people and everything happens for a reason blah blah blah. I understand that, I really do. 

But it's the unexpected disappointments that hurt the worst. When I failed out of college, it was expected. I had family things going on, I turned 21 that semester, my mind was not focused on school. It didn't come as a surprise but the disappointment still stung. And this stings worse.

I hate to be Debbie Downer today, but it's just one of those days. One of those days where it's hard to see the bright side. Hard to think that, this too shall pass. It's hard to remember that even though I have failed in the past, I have gotten back up. I've taken things in stride and just kept moving forward. But today I just want to wallow in my disappointment a little and ask why? Why is it that some people seem so successful? Why is it that I am so hard on myself? And finally... why am I constantly comparing myself to others?

I've heard that "comparison is the thief of joy" and I believe it 100%. Every time I see someone else's successes, I instantaneously get jealous, I think, why can't that be me? Why aren't my ideas good enough? Please don't get the wrong idea and think I want to BE these people I'm comparing myself to. I don't, I want to be myself, 100% original. But I also want "myself" to be successful. Is that too much to ask for?


scrapperjen said...

I understand what you are saying! Just remember YOU are not a failure, just some of your adventures are failures!
Keep your chin up! Hugs

Sara Elizabeth said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. As someone who's been in college for a taaad bit longer than the usual 4 years, its hard to not compare myself to others who are graduated and moving on with their lives. I constantly remind myself that everyone's path is different & it's all in His time. Keep your chin up :)

Ashley G said...

i get it. i'm sorry you had a rough day!

Corinne said...

So sorry that you are experiencing these feelings! I think it's completely normal and human to have these feelings from time to time. I hope that you are able to find something in today that changes the way you feel and brightens your day!

Jay T said...

No, that is not too much to ask for. And you're allowed to be disappointed for a while, but don't let it stop you from trying new things again and again and again!!

Anonymous said...

Remember this: we are all on a different path in life. Some of us have a few more road blocks that stand in our way but we all get there eventually. There's a bigger plan for all of us. You're never given anything you can't handle. And you know I'm always here if you need to talk. <3

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

You are ALLOWED to have bad days. Everyone does. Sometimes all we can do is ride them out. Your good days will outweigh the bad ones though, I'm confident in that. :)

brooke lyn said...

i think everyone is allowed to have days where you don't try to have a good attitude towards a situation. it's bound to happen, it's ok to disappointed and then you can try again tomorrow!

Kelly Louise said...

I think it's healthy to wallow in it for a bit. It would be awkward if you just brushed everything off. I'd be like "are you an alien?" but you're not, you're human and we all have these days/weeks/months, however long we need to get thru something. there are parts of this post that I connect to so much that I swear I could have written it myself. I don't admit to it really but I get super jealous of other peoples success too. I've always felt behind. I'm 31, never went to college like everyone else I knew, not married and having babies like everyone else around me, don't have a big successful career like so many others. I often feel like a failure. but i'm not. i'm successful enough for me right now, i'm just a failure at trying to have someone else's success. it's ok for things to not work out, as much as it sucks. maybe it will work out later, or maybe something better will work out instead!
when you said like being excited about something and talking about it in the blog and everywhere, and telling everyone... i'm a little bit dealing with that now. i'm about to make some jumps and i'm so eager to share but i'm terrified that if it doesn't work out, it will be such an extra bummer that i'd then have to go and tell everyone it didn't work out. or if everyone ends up hating it.

keep your head up, you're not alone <3

Anonymous said...

Hold that head up girl! :)

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

Keep your head up, girl! It is hard not to compare to others but sometimes all the behind the scene stuff we don't see to help them be successful, we wouldn't want either. Know that you are doing what you can right now and that is all anyone can ask of you.

Hallie Oceanside said...

I totally feel you my love.
but knowing our weaknesses, and knowing where we have not always succeeded in the past. Only makes us that much stronger. Keep your head up my dear, you will do GREAT things for the sheer fact that you know the feeling of failure, and you accept it. Those that know it and are not afraid of it can face it head on, and I KNOW you will :)

Rachael @ Pretty in Pink said...

This week has seriously been an off week for like everybody I know! lol. You aren't a failure. You make mistakes, just like everybody else, but know how to dust yourself off. That's what matters!

Autumn @ The Unreal Life said...

Been one of those days for me as well. I am so, so hard on myself and never think I'm doing good enough.

Jackie said...

COmparison is so so easy to do in the era of social media and especially when you put yourself out there with the blog BUT we are the hardest on ourselves. I have to remind myself that the failures are just as much a part of who I am as the successes. Sometimes things don't work out for a reason and it is hard to see how or why. Chin up lady! Today will be better :)

The Peanut Program said...

i must have missed this one yesterday :(

comparison is EVIL, We all do it to ourselves and it does nothing but bring terrible emotions.

the grass isn't always greener on the other side. they are struggling their own battles while having their success too (that we may not be seeing).. i keep telling myself that.

i know it's hard! i've been in the same situation lately. it's just sucky.

Lisa @ Two Martinis said...

I'm clearly HORRIBLY behind on blog reading, but I just saw this post and I TOTALLY have those days when I feel like I'm somehow unsuccessful at EVERYTHING... so I hear ya, lady! I hope your month has gotten better and that your spirits have been lifted! You're awesome :-)

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