I don't remember where or when I came across the article, whether it was via another blogger, on twitter, or on Facebook. But I read it a week or so ago and now I want to talk about it. The title of the post is "23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged before You're 23." The title intrigued me, and I wanted to know what the young lady had to say.
I found myself reading, and in the beginning shaking my head in agreement a little. Sometimes (especially in the South) girls and young women think they have to get married/have children/do xyz by a certain age. I however, am not of this mindset. Although I would like it to happen before I'm 40, I have no qualms about being unmarried at (gasp) 23 years old. The writer touches on the divorce rate among younger couples, which is higher than the rate in couples who get married at an older age (source).
It seems that when we enter our twenties, this unexplainable desire to marry our soul mate and produce children washes over us. And with all of the social media, we can see our friends (and non-friends) all around us showing off their gorgeous engagement ring, tweeting about dress fittings, and instagramming their bridal boquets before they walk down the aisle. And the desire burns louder and brighter, maybe we start to panic a little bit because we aren't even dating anyone and it will be YEARS before we are finally settled down.
While I agree with the writer that it is ridiculous to try to plan out when you're going to get married when you don't even know much about yourself, I do not agree with some of the things she says you should do before getting engaged at 23. I also do not agree with her bashing young couples that DO decide to unite in matrimony because I know several people that were married before 23 and are still going strong (my parents were married at 19 and 20 and celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary this year).
Even though I don't think everyone needs to be in a rush to get married, and that marriage is a serious (hello, forever) commitment that should be made between two consenting, willing, and smart adults that have taken a lot of time and put a lot of thought into their decision. I think that people can do this at 20, 25, or 30, as long as it isn't something you're jumping in to "just because," which is what the writer seems to think anyone below the age of 23 is doing, and that's just silly.
So here are a few (not 23 because I don't really feel like coming up with that many) things you can do before you're 23, whether you're married or not:
1. Get a passport - even if you aren't planning a trip in your immediate future, it's better to have one than to need one, because it takes a while to get one.
2. Learn how to change a tire - I learned how to change a tire sometime when I was a teenager, and yes I thought it was stupid, until the day I actually needed to do it.
3. Watch an entire show, first season to last, on Netflix - I tell you what, there's nothing like spending every evening curled up on the couch watching an entire TV show. Some people may say it's lazy, but I felt a strange sense of accomplishment afterward.
4. Go out dancing - Before I turned 21 there was a club in downtown Pensacola that let in people 18 and up on Thursday nights, and you got in for like three bucks with your college ID. I would go with my best girlfriends and not drink a drop, sweat my ass off on the dance floor, and have a fabulous time.
5. Get a pet - if you're married, thinking about having kids (or neither of those things) there's nothing that will teach you about responsibility like having something that is completely dependent on you. Plus they're cute.
All in all, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married before you're 23. Or getting married after you're 30. Everyone is living a different life, with a different timeline, a different plan. Why should it matter to me how old you are when you get married?
Kylie is a brand new blogger and a huge NHL fan, unfortunately the one sport that I don't know anything about. She isn't afraid to share her beliefs or embarrassing Target stories and that's one of the things I love about her. Plus she loves wine and coffee just as much as me, and you really can't go wrong with either of those!
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