Let me tell you, having a life is some rough shit. I know everyone has tough times but obviously it isn't something we always share with the world, whether we are bloggers or not. There are things we like to keep private.
But sometimes privacy sucks! (<--- yes I needed that exclamation point) Somtimes it just feels really good to get your shit out on the table and be like, "who cares?!" when it comes to someone reading/hearing about it. It can feel really really good to just let it all out.
In reality, my shit isn't even that bad. Just general life things. Except all of these life things are happening all at one time and it feels like I'm under an avalanche or inside a cave that's caving in. I know I talked about staying sane a few weeks ago, and I'm doing my best to follow my own rules but as you can see (from my lack of blogging over the past two weeks) I still don't have it all together.
First there's the obvious: school. I have 16 hours of class and clinical a week, plus ACLS and PALS training. I have 84 hours of precepting to complete in the next three weeks. I have tests to study for, papers to write, and not to mention, patients to take care of.
Then there's work. Work is work for everyone no matter how much we "love our job" and yada yada (because I do, really, love my job). It's something I find myself dreading even though I need to go more now than ever.
Lastly, there's the icing on the cake: the move. I haven't had the chance (or found the right words) to mention it on my blog but if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (shameless plug, yes) then you may have noticed that I've moved out of Derek's parents' house a few weeks ago. I know I really don't have to share any of this with you all, I can be as private as I like, but like I said, sometimes it feels good to put all the shit on the table and quit carrying it around on our backs.
Soooo many clothes in the trunk!
The short version of the long story (without getting too personal) is: I wanted to move out, because hello, I've been living with someone's parents for over a year. I was going stark raving mad. Completely insane. Lashing out for no particular reason, saying mean things, resenting people that didn't deserve resentment. It was time to go. At this time in our lives (with the afore mentioned school and work) it just isn't practical for us to jump in to home ownership right now. Even though that's the one thing I'd absolutely kill to do, the timing is just off.
So I made a decision. A really really hard decision. A decision that hurt feelings, caused fights, cause tears. I moved out. While the dust has now settled, my move was not taken very well and it has been pretty hard on me. Not just because there were people who didn't want me to move, but also because it's hard adjusting to living alone when you've been living with other people for 14 months. I'm pretty lonely.
I still haven't gotten my internet hooked up so I'm also having social media withdrawals.