|We attended our first Mardi Gras ball over the weekend and had an absolute blast. I love getting dolled up!|
Derek and I are coming up on four months of marital bliss.
Okay that's a lie. Not the four months part, but the "bliss" part. I read a blog post about a month ago, written by a newlywed, talking about what marriage "is" to her (and her husband). While I don't (and probably never will) consider myself an expert on marriage, and I do believe everyone is allowed their own perspective and opinions, I do have some things to say in response to this (very sweet) blog post.
Marriage is having dance parties in the kitchen while you cook (well, not my marriage because my husband couldn't dance to save his life), but it's also having a shouting match because one of you forgot to thaw the meat for tonights dinner and now you're having a hunger-fueled argument about irrisponsibility.
Marriage is sneaking kisses in public, but it's also not wanting to look at each other becase one of you casually mentioned they could see those five pounds you said you'd gained.
Marriage is building a future together, but it's also the uncertainty you feel about any big decisions you'll have to make. Decisions you thought you knew the answer to, but now you've got someone else to consider. Do we pay the 20k for a masters degree? Do we wait for kids or have them now? Will one of us stay home and raise our children or do we use a daycare?
Marriage is expanding your family ten-fold, but it's also being compared to your spouses mother/brother/father/uncle and feeling a little bit of resentment toward those new family members. It's having to live up to different standards and learning how to fold the shirts the right way and making the chicken just right.
Marriage is great. I love being married. But it isn't perfect butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, it's really hard and really ugly. Marriage isn't about being hunky-dory all the time - it's about the ugly AND the pretty. It is about all of the absolute crap you can go through together, and still come out okay.
It's about loving someone despite all of their flaws - and I thank God, because I've got my fair share. It's about agreeing to disagree on some things. It's about having a drink by the fire and spoiling your pets and getting mad because somebody refuses to have weekly Harry Potter Marathons.
Marriage is compromise. Marriage is love. Marriage is grace.