Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Marriage is...

We attended our first Mardi Gras ball over the weekend and had an absolute blast. I love getting dolled up!

Derek and I are coming up on four months of marital bliss. 

Okay that's a lie. Not the four months part, but the "bliss" part. I read a blog post about a month ago, written by a newlywed, talking about what marriage "is" to her (and her husband). While I don't (and probably never will) consider myself an expert on marriage, and I do believe everyone is allowed their own perspective and opinions, I do have some things to say in response to this (very sweet) blog post. 

Marriage is having dance parties in the kitchen while you cook (well, not my marriage because my husband couldn't dance to save his life), but it's also having a shouting match because one of you forgot to thaw the meat for tonights dinner and now you're having a hunger-fueled argument about irrisponsibility. 

Marriage is sneaking kisses in public, but it's also not wanting to look at each other becase one of you casually mentioned they could see those five pounds you said you'd gained. 

Marriage is building a future together, but it's also the uncertainty you feel about any big decisions you'll have to make. Decisions you thought you knew the answer to, but now you've got someone else to consider. Do we pay the 20k for a masters degree? Do we wait for kids or have them now? Will one of us stay home and raise our children or do we use a daycare? 

Marriage is expanding your family ten-fold, but it's also being compared to your spouses mother/brother/father/uncle and feeling a little bit of resentment toward those new family members. It's having to live up to different standards and learning how to fold the shirts the right way and making the chicken just right. 

Marriage is great. I love being married. But it isn't perfect butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, it's really hard and really ugly. Marriage isn't about being hunky-dory all the time - it's about the ugly AND the pretty. It is about all of the absolute crap you can go through together, and still come out okay. 

It's about loving someone despite all of their flaws - and I thank God, because I've got my fair share. It's about agreeing to disagree on some things. It's about having a drink by the fire and spoiling your pets and getting mad because somebody refuses to have weekly Harry Potter Marathons. 

Marriage is compromise. Marriage is love. Marriage is grace.


Brooks Oakwood said...

Yes. Just yes to ALL of this. Marriage is one of the hardest and most rewarding experience.

Alexandra Stacey said...

This is just a lovely post. I wish more couples focused on marriage and partnership instead of just 'getting married.'

I can't wait to continue to build the partnership I've started with my fiance once we're married.

Alexes Eide said...

Years ago my best friend told me, that a REAL relationship isn't about JUST all the good. It's about the good and the bad and working through it as a team. This has stuck with me for life and whenever a Bf, at the time, would start to "bail" during the bad I knew he wasn't the one. Marriage is hard, but so great! And don't get me wrong, there are days I may or may not want to stab my husband, but I don't because I need someone to take out the trash and someone to cuddle with lol. This is a great post! I love the ending, "Marriage is compromise. Marriage is love. Marriage is grace." This is exactly what is it!!

Allison @ Texas Mrs. said...

I totally agree that 1) marriage is great. I love it so much! And 2) spoiling your pets is totally necessary!

Cassie Lee @ Sage the Blog said...

Thank you for the honesty. I get bogged down by marriage posts that just make the couple seem perfect. It's so nice to know I am not alone in the good or the bad!

Him & Me (But Mostly Me) said...

I've been married a little bit longer than you... and this post was great. It really got me to thinking about what our marriage is about. Thanks!

Simply Stine said...

This is great! We are about to hit our 8th wedding anniversary (15 total years together) and marriage is work. It's not always fun and games, but that's what makes you stronger!! This was such a great post! It's refreshing to see someone speak honestly about it!

Melissa Camacho said...

definitely agree! I love your honesty because it's really not all rainbows and sunshine. it takes work from all parties involved but it's also fun when you are in it together!!

Leslie said...

I love this! Especially the part about the family expanding and having new standards to live up to. My mother in law and I are VERY different and that's probably the main "fight" my husband and I have. We're a little over 4 months into it, and I hope the MIL issues don't last for the next 40 years!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you look stunning! Great dress. :)

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