I’ve always classified myself as an extrovert. Not always the “life of the party” but one who enjoys being around others, who has an active social life and one who doesn’t feel out of place in a crowd. If you were to have asked me last week, did I consider myself an extrovert or an introvert, I wouldn’t have hesitated to say that of course I’m extroverted!
Lately though, I’ve enjoyed my alone time more and more. I guess I really noticed it this past Friday night when we had an evening planned of dinner and drinks with a few friends, then going to watch another friend play and sing at a local bar. A typical Friday night, nothing out of the ordinary, but as the day drew on, I found myself wanting more and more to find a reason not to go. After dinner, and before we ventured downtown, I suggested to Derek, “What if we just go home now?”
It was barely 9 pm and I wanted to go home. On a Friday night, with nothing to do the next day but sleep and clean the house. But I found myself craving my couch, my pajamas, and a good book. What has happened to me? Derek asked the same thing – stating something along the lines of “You used to want to go out all night, now you never want to do anything!” I wouldn’t say that I never want to do anything. But here recently, given the option, I will most likely choose my couch and PJ’s over socializing and wearing pants with a button.
Is this all just part of “getting older”? Is it part of marriage? Is it normal? Does it have to do with the fact that we’re in that weird phase of being married but not having kids yet, where the rest of our friends are either parents or single? Maybe my tastes have just changed. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I stayed out (willingly) past 10 pm – not counting my bachelorette party – or needed someone to drive me home because of one too many drinks. I’m not saying I hate it, I’m just saying it’s different.
Do I still consider myself an extrovert? I certainly wouldn’t say I’m “introverted” – I enjoy company, conversation, and can get easily bored with too much alone time. I’m not one who “needs” alone time, to ponder my thoughts and just be with myself, but that’s not to say I don’t enjoy those things. Is there a middle ground, a name for someone like me? Why must we be either introverted or extroverted?
When I first took the jueng personality test, I was categorized as an ENFJ, with pretty strong indications in the “extroverted” category. That was just two years ago. I wonder if I took it again today, would I be more on the introverted side?
What are your thoughts? Do we as people just naturally become more introverted as we get older, or am I changing for some other reason?