Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Am I an Introvert?

I’ve always classified myself as an extrovert. Not always the “life of the party” but one who enjoys being around others, who has an active social life and one who doesn’t feel out of place in a crowd. If you were to have asked me last week, did I consider myself an extrovert or an introvert, I wouldn’t have hesitated to say that of course I’m extroverted!

Lately though, I’ve enjoyed my alone time more and more. I guess I really noticed it this past Friday night when we had an evening planned of dinner and drinks with a few friends, then going to watch another friend play and sing at a local bar. A typical Friday night, nothing out of the ordinary, but as the day drew on, I found myself wanting more and more to find a reason not to go. After dinner, and before we ventured downtown, I suggested to Derek, “What if we just go home now?”

It was barely 9 pm and I wanted to go home. On a Friday night, with nothing to do the next day but sleep and clean the house. But I found myself craving my couch, my pajamas, and a good book. What has happened to me? Derek asked the same thing – stating something along the lines of “You used to want to go out all night, now you never want to do anything!” I wouldn’t say that I never want to do anything. But here recently, given the option, I will most likely choose my couch and PJ’s over socializing and wearing pants with a button.

Is this all just part of “getting older”? Is it part of marriage? Is it normal? Does it have to do with the fact that we’re in that weird phase of being married but not having kids yet, where the rest of our friends are either parents or single? Maybe my tastes have just changed. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I stayed out (willingly) past 10 pm – not counting my bachelorette party – or needed someone to drive me home because of one too many drinks. I’m not saying I hate it, I’m just saying it’s different.

Do I still consider myself an extrovert? I certainly wouldn’t say I’m “introverted” – I enjoy company, conversation, and can get easily bored with too much alone time. I’m not one who “needs” alone time, to ponder my thoughts and just be with myself, but that’s not to say I don’t enjoy those things. Is there a middle ground, a name for someone like me? Why must we be either introverted or extroverted?

When I first took the jueng personality test, I was categorized as an ENFJ, with pretty strong indications in the “extroverted” category. That was just two years ago. I wonder if I took it again today, would I be more on the introverted side?

What are your thoughts? Do we as people just naturally become more introverted as we get older, or am I changing for some other reason? 


Samantha said...

This was so me about 3 years ago. I used to go out every night of the weekend, sometimes more and the thought of spending a weekend night home alone sounded like the worst possible idea. Now, the idea of going out all night getting drunk sounds that way.

I absolutely love my couch, my pjs, a blanket and the DVR (oh, and my husband ;). I definitely think it's an age thing and it's rarely gradual - it just hits you all at once which is the oddest part about it!

Fairy Princess Jord said...

This is such an interesting perception. I am INFJ with a slight preference towards introversion. I still like to spend time with friends and hate TOO much alone time but I do find after a long day of work I almost always look for a reason to cancel plans. I'm learning not to plan so many activities on week nights because I really can't fully enjoy them (I dread them).

Kayla MKOY said...

This is so me. Caleb and I are young, no kids, but have been married nearly 2 years. We're insanely busy so when we have free time? I usually want to stay in and nap. Ha! Or watch TV, etc. I feel the same as you. Maybe it's just part of getting older. To be honest, I think I'm very 50:50. Both a planner and a spontaneous gal, both a saver and a spender, both an introvert and an extrovert! Hey, we are who we are. May as well embrace it :)

Quincy said...

I struggle with the same thing! My fiancé is a total introvert and I've always considered myself extremely extroverted, I can talk for days. But in the last few years and with the stress of nursing school, I really need my time alone or at home to recharge. I love a good bath/book reading/ or house cleaning all alone. It will be quite interesting living with my man once we are married. Did you struggle with needing your own space? Blog post? ;)

carissajade said...

I'm the same way. Always thought i was an extrovert, but lately i have felt differently. I am much more appreciative of alone time. I think everyone must have a little of both in them.

Jessie Jones said...

I've found that as I get older, I need the down time. I can't go-go-go like I used to. And I'm almost 30, which isn't that old. But I value time in a different way. I want to enjoy my home, my husband... the enjoyment level I get out of things is different, but I think I'm still the same extrovert. But you're not alone, that's for sure!

Megan said...

When I took Myers-Brigg for a job a few years ago, I was an introvert and I was very surprised. I'm pretty talkative and outgoing, I was the president of my sorority, I liked meeting new people, yada yada yada. But then the woman facilitating the session explained that introvert vs. extrovert is less about your interactions with other people and more about where you get your ENERGY from. And when I want to re-energize, I read a book. I enjoy a cup of coffee ... alone. I take a walk or a nap. I shut out the world. And now that I know that about myself, it's great! Being around other people makes me tired, so I have to do it in spurts and manage my alone time well. :)

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