Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Phone Call

It was just like any other day when I got the call from my dad. Well, not just like any other day because I was actually working a late shift at work, so when he called a little before six, I was still in my office. We chatted about my brother's upcoming baseball games, our weekend plans, fishing, and a little more of this and that. I started saying my goodbye's when he said it: baby, I actually called you for another reason.

I knew something was wrong right away. Someone was in a car accident, one of the dogs got run over, he and my mom were splitting. A million different things went through my head in that one split second before he said the next thing: your mom had a doctor's appointment today and we've got some bad news.

In so many words, he explained how she hadn't been feeling well, had several appointments with her primary doctor over the past few days and several tests and procedures done, but that day was the day they found the tumor. The tumor that we would later find out encapsulated several main arteries and veins, and her left bronchiole. The tumor that would supersede anything I thought about over the next several weeks. The tumor that I would cry over, pray over, curse at, and cry some more about.
Fast forward to today. Today marks exactly four weeks since I received the phone call. My mom was diagnosed with stage three small cell carcinoma, with a 3x4x5 cm tumor, a small nodule in the right lower lobe, which is also in the immediately surrounding lymph nodes. She isn't a candidate for surgery, because of the delicate veins encapsulated in the tumor. She has completed her first round (three days) of chemo therapy and will return again in three weeks for another three days. She won't be going through radiation (yet), they will determine if she will start after her fourth round (12 weeks) of chemo.

Obviously this is a very scary, difficult thing for her to go through. For us to go through as a family. As a nurse, I am expected to answer questions, to provide reassurance, but right now I'm a daughter. A daughter who is scared and doesn't know the answers. I wish I did, but being a nurse only grants me a few days of studying more than the average person with knowledge about cancer.

It is likely that my appearance here may not be as frequent. But then again, it may be. I cannot say. At first, this was all I could think about. I couldn't fathom writing about anything happy or interesting or entertaining. Slowly, life is returning to normal. My mom is still my mom. I am still living my life the same that I was before, going to work, going home, cooking dinner and doing the chores, but now there's just a little rain cloud hovering above us. But, as the saying goes, you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

26 comments:

Brittany Deskins said...

I'm so sorry to hear this and will be thinking of you and your family. #cancersucks

Samantha said...

So sorry to hear this news! You and your family are in my prayers!!!

Lauren said...

SO sorry to hear this! Praying for you and your family, sending happy thoughts!

Coral's Country said...

I first just wanted to comment on how stunningly, simply sweet your blog is. And how much your little blurp on the side made me want to hang out with you and watch Netflix while we figure out which house we'd be in (Gryffindor). And how I seriously need to paint my toenails. And how thirsty I am for a smooth red wine. And how awesome your blog name is and how bummed I am that I didn't think of it first.

But now what I really want you to know is that I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. I am holding space for your situation and I am sending you a virtual umbrella while you wait out the rain. I hope that the rainbow soon shines bright and you'll find comfort in everything being alright.

Take care lady and know that a friend you just haven't met yet is rooting for you and your mom! <3

Kayla MKOY said...

Oh Kalyn...I'm so so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for your mom in the next few weeks. Please keep us posted and I'll be praying for you, too. Just try to keep your pretty head up :)

Allie said...

I am so, so sorry. I'm praying for you - like, I actually will.

Allie said...

I am so, so sorry. I'm praying for you - like, I actually will.

Allie said...

I am so, so sorry. I'm praying for you - like, I actually will.

carissajade said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. All the thoughts and prayers are going your way.

Jessie Jones said...

Sending love and prayers your way - I can't imagine this!

The Rachael Way said...

I'm so sorry girl :( I'm praying for your family during this difficult time.

the Florkens said...

I'm so sorry that this ugly disease reared its head in your family. I cannot imagine everything you are all going through right now. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope that your mom has the speediest of recoveries. Let me know if you need anything... even if it is just someone to vent to about it all!

-Kate
www.theflorkens.com

Ashley Robyn said...

My heart breaks for you Kalyn! I will be sending good vibes and big Texas hugs your way as you help your sweet momma battle this battle.

Cece said...

The call you dread! So sorry you had to get that call. Sending warm thoughts to you and your family as you go through this tough time.

Lisa @ Two Martinis said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Saying a prayer for you and your family now!

Brittany said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how scary it is. I'll send a prayer your way.

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