Friday, February 12, 2016

2016 Word of the Year

In 2015 I chose a word that I would focus on for the year. The word was "growth" and I layed out the ways in which I wanted to grow (you can read the full post here, and update posts here and here). Looking back, I did a LOT of growing in 2015. I grew emotionally and spiritually. I grew in my role as a wife as me and my husband fumbled through the first year of marriage - learning about each others likes/dislikes, quirks, and feelings. I grew as a nurse and as a friend. 2015 was a good year for growth.

This year the word I've chosen is "breathe". I guess I should say its my mantra rather than my "word". I don't have specific goals this time around, I just want to remind myself to breathe.

My mom's cancer diagnosis in May literally knocked the breath out of me. It shook me in ways I still cannot put into words. When someone you love receives such detrimental news, it can be so hard to remember to live life normally - to go about the mundane day to day activities with a smile on your face - because you have this cloud hanging over you.

That's when I have to remind myself to breathe. In through the nose, slowly filling up my lungs - out through the mouth, pursed lips like I'm letting off steam. Three times slowly.

Marriage is not what I expected. I'm not saying that negatively - because marriage is awesome. I have a man in my life who is just the right amount of leader, supporter, and encourager - it's just that sometimes (in my stubborn, self-righteousness) I can't always see how great he is.

Sometimes I see his leadership as bossiness (related: I plan on writing one day about my views/struggles/personal relationship with submission as discussed in the Bible), sometimes I see his encouragement as being pushy.Sometimes I have a bad day at work and I take it out on him when I get home - that's not fair, but it happens anyway. Sometimes it's the other way around. In the morning we still love each other, but at night it's laying facing away from each other and muttered "I love yous" and "goodnights."

My husband has strong opinions on many things - so do I. Many times we are on the same side, but there are occasions where we butt heads. Seemingly, there is no eye-to-eye, no compromise, no agreements.

That's when I have to remind myself to breathe. In through the nose, slowly filling up my lungs - out through the mouth, pursed lips like I'm letting off steam. Three times slowly.

Life as a nurse is funny. Some days are awesome: when the patients are kind and the day goes smoothly and I go home in the evenings with a virtual pat on the back and a smile on my face thinking, "This is what I'm supposed to be doing, this is where I belong."

Then there are the other days. The days when I blow the vein, the days when I'm late on every med pass because I spent 30 minutes in one room trying to console the new stroke patient who just can't stop crying. The days my boss is breathing down my neck because I didn't turn in last months reports on time and this months are due yesterday. The days when I go home with tears in my eyes, questioning, "Is this where I am supposed to be? Why do I put myself through this [job] day in and day out?"

That's when I have to remind myself to breathe. In through the nose, slowly filling up my lungs - out through the mouth, pursed lips like I'm letting off steam. Three times slowly.

My plan for 2016 is this: Breathe. Practice grace. Drink a lot of coffee. Breathe. Talk to Jesus. Trust in my marriage. Breathe.  

Do you have a word/mantra for the year?  


Erin Mellon said...

It sounds like "breath" is the perfect word for you right now! I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. My mom has been having some health issues as well, and I can totally understand how painful and scary that can be. I'm newly married in May. My husband and I were raised with very different views on marriage (his family is far more traditional than mine, when it comes to marriage roles), and that has sometimes been a struggle.

Cori Large said...

Breathe is a good word. I need to remember to take a step back and remember to do this as well.

Anonymous said...

Great choice. Wishing you the best of luck this year.

Emma Byers said...

This is such an awesome word for the year and a good reminder for all of us to breathe more! We talked about our words for the year in this blog post last week:

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

it sounds like breathe is the best word for you this year girl. i am so sorry about your mom. i cannot imagine being a nurse, so kudos to you for being so awesome :) i can't imagine how hard it gets sometimes. KC and I certainly still butt heads, that's just what happens when you put two people in close quarters and make them spend a lot of time together lol.

Lisa @ Naptime Chai said...

A great mantra to have! I'm sorry to hear about your mom, I can only imagine how life-altering news like that would be. And 'Amen' to everything you said about marriage. Living with someone (forever) is not easy.

Marette Flora said...

I love that this post is so honest about the first year of marriage. It's definitely filled with lessons. Also, my word for 2016 is growth!

Floradise blog

CLFLEENER Photography said...

Great word to choose! I was just reminding myself to breathe yesterday. Definitely something good to remember when times get tough and stresful

Kara at Fit Chick Nextdoor said...

I feel like that is the word I choose daily. Sometimes I like to take five minutes in the morning and just sit, focus and relax. I'm sorry to hear about your mom <3

The Rachael Way said...

Beautifully written. Can't wait to follow along with your journey this year of learning to breathe. xoxo

Micaela Vaughan said...

I am so proud of you. I know that I don't say it enough, but trust me, I do think it often. I am proud of you in so many ways- your growth spiritually and just in the way that you think and can express yourself. I just don't understand where you get your hard-headedness from though (ha ha). Just remember to continue to grow, and breathe and trust. God's will will be done. I love you Kalyn.

Aunt KK

Brittany said...

that sounds like a perfect word for you this year and all the time. My word this year is relax. I recently realized that I haven't been as stressed the past month so I guess doing something right :)

I'm so intrigued and can't wait to read your post about submission!! Something that has come up a time or two in our relationship and it's a tough one.

Pellerini said...

GREAT word for 2016! A lot of times we forget to breathe...and it helps us see things in a different light!

Amy @ Getz Girl on Fire said...

I've never chosen a word of the year . . . I feel like I'd need more of a paragraph to cover all my bases on things I need to improve. But breathe is a good one . . . I try to remind myself sometimes to just take a minute. In and out. In and out. It's really just a pause button to keep us from spewing off all the things we know we shouldn't say.

I'm sorry about your mom. I don't know the whole story but I hope she's recovering. And for what it's worth, I've been married almost 17 years and we still act like you describe. Marriage is just hard. And people are stubborn. I love him more than anything, but some days I just don't like him. And I tell him that. He gets it. Kudos to you for being a nurse. I think it's a great career and one I wish I could handle. I'm not one who can face blood and medical things but I always have so much respect for those that can. Nurses can literally change lives so just remember that . . . while you are breathing! :-)

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